When was the last time you took time for YOU?

You've been creating virtual lessons, implementing virtual rewards and discipline procedures, and possibly keeping up with in-class separation shenanigans, as well.  It's overwhelming and not what you signed up for, right?  But we teachers are both strong and resilient.  We can cope with any educational emergency, all while taking care of our homes, spouses, and children.  That would drain the energy from any person.  

Once in a while, it's okay to take time just for yourself.  I don't mean leaving it all behind and traveling around for a while to clear your head, although that's not a bad idea.  I mean actually doing something meaningful just for yourself. Because you know what, folks? If you don't do something for yourself, you may find that nobody else is going to do anything for you.

Here are some ideas to help you relax and enjoy a small part of your day or week so you tell yourself that you are special (channeling Mr. Rogers here!)

Take a walk around the YARD.  This can be your own yard, a nearby field, or a city greenspace.  While there, immerse yourself in sensory stimulation.  Listen to the birds, smell the flowers, look for unusual shapes or colors, touch something soft, hard, and even scratchy. And if there is a food truck in the area, indulge yourself in one of their treats.  If not, bring along a peppermint or caramel candy to suck on.  Every time you pop another one in your mouth, you’ll remember the peaceful stroll around the "YARD."

OBTAIN a journal. Make it your own style – colorful, leather, or simply marble-covered!  This is more than a this-is-what-I-did-today journal.  This is a gratitude journal.  Take some time to list the things that make you happy, that are good in your life, that help you to feel fulfilled.  List the people in your life and how they help you to become a better person.  Recall all the pets you have had and how much fun you had with them.  When you do this, you validate your own existence by validating the existence of a beloved item, a person, or a pet. 

UNPACK your mental suitcase. You say you don’t have a mental suitcase?  Everybody does!  It’s where you store your negative thoughts – those nagging grudges, unhappy memories, and general worries about what will happen tomorrow. It's also where you store your happy memories of better times.  Get rid of the negative items in your suitcase and keep the positive. To help you with this task, draw a picture of a suitcase in the middle of the paper.  On one side, list all your negative thoughts.  On the right side, list all your positive thoughts, perhaps those you listed in your journal.  Now rip (yes rip – don’t cut – it makes this exercise so effective!) the negative contents off your paper.  Rip them into smaller pieces and throw them away.  Now you’re left with a wonderful image of wonderful things in your wonderful mental suitcase.

I’m sure your have your own ways to make time for YOU – find them, use them, and enjoy them until you are re-energized to tackle the demands of your job, your home, and your family.

For ideas on how to handle your mental kingdom, read my workbook for life, Be the Master of Your Mental Kingdom. This online resource is great for you, for your colleagues, even for your middle and high school students who may be having a difficult time adjusting to remote learning.  Comment on this blog and let me know how YOU are doing in your everyday life as you take care of your own needs as well as others’ needs.

When your friend needs help

We've all been there. We're sick, had an operation, had a baby, or are simply overwhelmed with life's demands. Then some unsuspecting family member asks, "What's for dinner?" and you lose all patience. When my daughter had her baby last month, a very kind relative started a meal delivery system after I left. Called Take Them a Meal, the website offers a sign-up system for meals for as long as the help is needed. Chelle got delicious home-cooked casseroles for two weeks, which fed her and her family for dinners and leftovers for lunches. The sign-up system prevented her having baked ziti every night, too! Some neighbors were disappointed that they couldn't sign up becuase all the spaces were filled for dinners, so they got together a Sunday brunch basket. What wonderful people! And since she delivered by C-section, my daughter was unable to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk, so when she went to the grocery store, she only bought the necessary lighter items - bread, eggs, cheese, diapers, etc. So not only did the system provide wonderful meals, it lightened her burden for shopping.

The website also has a section for recipes and a section for ordering meals if you live far away from the friend or family member in need. In addition, if you belong to a group that holds potluck dinners, they have a companion site to sign up for a church supper as well.

What a boon for the person who needs help because she or he knows that she'll easily be able to reciprocate or "pay it forward" somehow.

Happy parenting!

Toward Better Parental Relationships

Much of my focus for this blog has been on interactions between adults and children.  However, just as important are the interactions between the adults who care for those children.  This blog focuses on the married parents who may need a little help staying married so their children don't have to deal with the problems associated with separation and divorce.

1. Ask yourself if you'd rather be right or would you rather be happy?  The key here is acceptance.  If your spouse doesn't load the dishwasher the way you would, accept that he or she actually does load the dishwasher!  If your spouse doesn't take the trash out until five minutes before the truck arrives, which annoys you that he waited so long, accept that he actually remembered in time!
2. Communicate, communicate, communicate.  Don't simply say, "The kids need to be picked up at 5:00 from soccer practice."  That's not communication.  Instead, ask, "What's one thing I can do to make your life easier?"  Wow!  What bomb just dropped in that household?  The bomb may drop but the silence may be deafening on the other end! Remembe to add one thing to the question so you don't get a laundry list of improvements.
3. Romance is important.  That doesn't mean you need wine and flowers every week (which may become overwhelming and redundant!).  It means the you truly care about the other person and see when he or she needs a boost.  In other words, be alert to your spouse's needs and respond accordingly with a simple hug, kiss, words of appreciation, or those flowers on a non-occasion.
4. Never assume that you know what the other person is thinking.  His or her body language may be misleading.  Ask what's bothering your partner.  Only then will you be able to respond to the problem.  Remember, men, if you ask and your wife says, "Nothing," it usually means "Everything!" Probe deeper. Just sayin'!
5. Put family first.  Many families totally ignore this rule as they go about their everyday lives.  The parents work, which builds stress into any family.  The kids have school, activities, and homework.  But if you all work to put the family first, you will all see ways to help each other through the good times and the bad.  One of my previous blogs recommended that you have a family dinner at least once a week.  What other ways can you consider that will bring your family together?

Happy Parenting!