Toward Better Parental Relationships

Much of my focus for this blog has been on interactions between adults and children.  However, just as important are the interactions between the adults who care for those children.  This blog focuses on the married parents who may need a little help staying married so their children don't have to deal with the problems associated with separation and divorce.

1. Ask yourself if you'd rather be right or would you rather be happy?  The key here is acceptance.  If your spouse doesn't load the dishwasher the way you would, accept that he or she actually does load the dishwasher!  If your spouse doesn't take the trash out until five minutes before the truck arrives, which annoys you that he waited so long, accept that he actually remembered in time!
2. Communicate, communicate, communicate.  Don't simply say, "The kids need to be picked up at 5:00 from soccer practice."  That's not communication.  Instead, ask, "What's one thing I can do to make your life easier?"  Wow!  What bomb just dropped in that household?  The bomb may drop but the silence may be deafening on the other end! Remembe to add one thing to the question so you don't get a laundry list of improvements.
3. Romance is important.  That doesn't mean you need wine and flowers every week (which may become overwhelming and redundant!).  It means the you truly care about the other person and see when he or she needs a boost.  In other words, be alert to your spouse's needs and respond accordingly with a simple hug, kiss, words of appreciation, or those flowers on a non-occasion.
4. Never assume that you know what the other person is thinking.  His or her body language may be misleading.  Ask what's bothering your partner.  Only then will you be able to respond to the problem.  Remember, men, if you ask and your wife says, "Nothing," it usually means "Everything!" Probe deeper. Just sayin'!
5. Put family first.  Many families totally ignore this rule as they go about their everyday lives.  The parents work, which builds stress into any family.  The kids have school, activities, and homework.  But if you all work to put the family first, you will all see ways to help each other through the good times and the bad.  One of my previous blogs recommended that you have a family dinner at least once a week.  What other ways can you consider that will bring your family together?

Happy Parenting!

Family-friendly meal times

Do your family meals turn into battlegrounds with children fighting adults for control of the plate?  Did you know that the single most frequent response when adults are asked what they remember as children involve family meals?  Think about your own family meal rituals.  What will your children remember in twenty-five years when they have your grandchildren sitting around their tables?  How will your legacy of happy family meals continue through the generations?  Here are a few suggestions for creating happier family meals:

1. Everyone does not have to eat the same thing as everyone else.  In other words, you don't need to force your children to eat peas if they don't like peas!
2. Encourage conversation by turning off the TV and iPods.
3. Have one family member help with the choice, preparation, and presentation of the dinner occasionally.
4. In a busy family, designate one day as family dinner day when everyone makes sure they are home at a specific time.
5. Develop unique family recipes, traditions, or grace before meals.

When you create happy meals for your family, research shows that children with asthma have fewer attacks, teens are less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and all family members have a lower tendency for eating disorders.  What are you having for dinner tonight?  Meat loaf or family togetherness?